Conflict at the workplace

We’ve all faced conflicts as children, friends, partners or coworkers. We’ve all felt angry and upset in these situations, feeling like the world was against us. Most of these conflicts will fade away and heal quickly, but others can be serious and prove destructive if we don’t take a step back to analyze and understand them. To keep things simple, we can say there are 2 main types of conflicts: the open conflicts you can have with people around you and the self-imposed ones borne out of frustration, the latter are still triggered by the behavior of people in your immediate environment but you’re the only one suffering from it, affecting your relationships while leaving people in the fog. Today I would like to analyze a self-imposed conflict I experienced at work a couple of years ago.

Junior me managing junior someone else

I started right out of college as a business analyst at a management consulting firm, I had only been on the job for a few months when I was asked to supervise one of our new junior staff who had started a few weeks prior. The project was run on a tight schedule and it was for an important client, I felt really excited at first. I tried to apply all the management guidelines my manager had told me, I onboarded my coworker as thoroughly as possible, considering he was very junior I delegated well scoped task that were totally manageable for one business analyst, we both agreed on the expected deliverable and timeline. We then got started, I regularly checked in without micromanaging, he assured me everything was under control. We were 5 days from the presentation to our partner, I was safe.

After 2 days I asked to see his work-in-progress document, that’s when the disappointment started, we were a long way from what was expected. I set out to lay everything out again and re-explain what was required, while being transparent on the fact that things were below expectations. My teammate seemed to understand, asked questions to clarify his thoughts and thanked me for the feedback. Cool, we’re on track I thought. The next day I was told everything was going according to the plan, since I wanted to trust him I didn’t ask to see the WIP. At the end of the following day, one day left before the presentation, we met to review the document, we were way behind, I didn’t know what to think, I felt helpless.

I tried to instill a sentiment of emergency during that meeting, we started a gap analysis to understand what was missing and I was clear that we would have to work late. But instead of expressing commitment and rising to the occasion, I felt push back, I was even told that late hours was not his strong suit. That’s when frustration and the situation of conflict settled in, not about the performance but the weak work ethic he was showing. I was feeling angry at my teammate, I got to a point where I let this become personal. I almost felt like he was acting on purpose, trying to make me look bad in front of the project manager.

To solve the short-term situation, I tried to instil more accountability but did not insist on leaving late. I was able to get everything done, mostly by myself. The walls were saved but it was still a “management failure”. I took him for coffee a few days after, we had the opportunity to discuss the project, get his feedback and give him my feedback, more importantly I was transparent on the fact that he showed an underwhelming work ethic, performance was ok for a junior, but work ethic was not. Honesty and transparency went a long way, our work relationship got much better after that conversation.

If I could go back, I think that I would have insisted on work ethic right off the bat, as soon as he started in the team. This experience has been great for me, I learned to never take anything personal at work, I also learned to appreciate how we come to work with different goals, some want to realize themselves, others merely want to put food on the table and that’s ok, some want to come to work to make friends and joke all day like Michael Scott in The Office. One more learning was that transparency is key when dealing with difficult situations.

Thank you for reading!